As we get older, feeling comfortable in your own skin is something that we need to learn and relearn. It becomes all too easy to get trapped in the endless cycle of “If only I was skinnier, taller, younger, richer, then I’d feel much better about myself” as we mature. Self-deprecating and negative thoughts can set you down a dark path that you might not be able to redeem yourself from. Learning your own self-worth and loving yourself – flaws and all – is a revolutionary way to live life in this world. If you’re ready to start your journey to self-love, then here are some ways to help you feel more comfortable in your own skin.
Stop comparing
First way to start feeling more comfortable with yourself is to remove other people from your mind. Stop comparing and worrying about what other people think of you. Easier said than done, we know, but it’s important to remember that you are your own person, on your own journey through this chaos called life. Your journey is unique, and you shouldn’t hold yourself and your choices to other people’s standards. Once you’ve accepted that you’re the main character of your own life, you’ll feel much more confident and comfortable in your own choices.
Practise Self-Awareness
Being honest with ourselves is one of the hardest things to do. Being self-aware will make you realise your true self, once you have acknowledged everything about yourself – the good, the bad, the ugly and the exceptional. Gather information about yourself without judgement and face yourself as you are.
Practising self-awareness on a deep level will help you stop comparing yourself with others, because then you realise that there’s only one of you. Of course, this doesn’t happen overnight. It will take a lot of baby steps, some forward, some backward – but it’s important that you make progress in some way towards feeling more comfortable and confident with who you are.
Remind Yourself of Your Self-Worth
It’s important to remember that your self-worth is your responsibility. Placing that responsibility in other people’s hands will set you up for a lot of heartbreak. Whether it’s at work or in your personal relationships, you need to regularly remind yourself of your unique strengths and weaknesses.
Another key thing to remember: Your self-worth is not tied to your appearance. Again, easier said than done, especially when you’re constantly being bombarded with advertising messages that there’s something wrong with you that you need to fix. You will feel the relief yourself, when you finally internalise that your physical attributes don’t determine the kind of person you are or wish to be.
Have a Support Group
Your journey towards feeling comfortable in your own skin shouldn’t be a lonely one. Surround yourself with a tribe of close friends and family that you can count on to have your back, especially when you’re feeling low. Your support group should love you for who you are. They should also be willing to show you some tough love and call you out for your bad behaviour if needed. Your tribe should uplift you and help you towards becoming a better version of yourself.
Practise Gratitude
It’s easy to get swept up in your own life and focus on the things that you don’t have or could’ve done if only you were *blank*. But what about the things that you already have? Don’t take yourself for granted. Try to remind yourself regularly of your “contributions” to the world by just being yourself – with your body, mind, spirit etc.
Learn to be grateful for the things in your life that make it worth living – they will help you remember that there’s so much beauty in the world for you to appreciate, including yourself.
Don’t Shy from External Validation
Feeling comfortable in your own skin is not easy and can take a whole lifetime for some people. Sometimes it takes someone or something outside of yourself to remind you of your own self-worth, and that is perfectly fine. Whether it’s wearing makeup, dressing up in expensive lingerie or even self-affirmation reminders, only you know what it takes for you to feel comfortable with yourself. Don’t deny yourself such pleasures by being too harsh on yourself from the onset.
Your journey towards self-love can take time, especially when your insecurities have been festering in you for a long time. But who’s counting anyway? Take as long as you need, as long as you are honest with yourself and make real efforts towards accepting you for who you are.